my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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