I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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