it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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