My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
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btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
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I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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