yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Randomize