I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Everything about him screamed your future.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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