I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
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He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
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That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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