I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize