New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
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My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
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and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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