one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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