if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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