Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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