Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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