the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i wish my penis had a tongue
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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