I will die if light touches me.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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