i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
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What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
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Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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