I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize