I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
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Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
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i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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