My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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