shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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