For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
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you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
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For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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