the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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