Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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