the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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