At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize