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sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
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