haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
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