jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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