where am i from again
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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