I want to walk on stilts...naked
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
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I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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