is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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