had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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