On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
is it fun? or sober?
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