his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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