She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
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he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
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He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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