I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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