I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize