This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize