Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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