nut hugger
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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