They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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