Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
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I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
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so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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