He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize