I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
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After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
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Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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