census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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