babies were throwing up all over the place
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
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