even my farts smell like vagina
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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