where am i from again
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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