It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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