The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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